How to get over a breakup

Breakups can be heart-wrenching. It’s heartbreaking to watch the energy, time, and emotion you pour into a relationship dissolve. Emotional pain is part of that reality, but there are some ways to soften the sting without creating more problems on the side. Take these tips to learn how to get over a breakup and make it through the toughest moments.

Recognize your grief

You may not think of it this way, but going through a breakup is a grieving process. You may move through a wide range of emotions, including anger, despair, and depression. This is normal because grief isn’t just about death. It can develop with any significant loss. When you acknowledge your grief, some of your emotional phases can make more sense.

Acknowledge that some dreams and hopes have changed

Your broken relationship may have shaken up your dreams and goals. If you were serious, this could include long-term plans like marriage. These losses may not be visible, but they’re real, too. It may be tough to face a different future, but it’s essential to recognize and accept these changes.

Face your feelings with honesty

No matter how hard it is, don’t hide from or avoid your feelings. If you cover your emotions with alcohol, drugs, or workaholic behaviors, you’re pushing your feelings off for another day. They will come back to bite you and cause other problems like depression, anxiety, or possibly substance abuse. When you can fully accept and face your emotions, they’ll eventually take up less space in your mind and heart.

Eat a healthy diet and get some exercise

Sure, a pint of ice cream or bag of chips may sound like the perfect emotional binge snack when you’re hurting. Doing this once or twice probably won’t hurt. But you’ll recover from your heartache more easily when your body feels good.

Also, make an effort to hit the gym or the walking trails now. Physical activity is great for many reasons when you’re hurting emotionally.
  1. It’s a great distraction. You’ll find it difficult to stew over your breakup when you’re moving your body and breathing hard.
  2. The extra activity pumps fresh oxygenated blood to your brain and around your body. This gives you a natural boost and keeps your mind functioning well.
  3. You’ll get endorphins flowing, which are responsible for feelings of well-being and relaxation in your body. These can take the rough edges off your emotions as you cope with them.

Get support from friends and family

Your support network can give you the comfort and reassurance you need now. Breakups can make you doubt yourself and bring emotional pain into everything you do. It won’t always feel this bad. But when your pain is raw, talk to someone and let them help. Spending time with loved ones can remind you that you are loved.

Keep your eyes toward the future

Catch yourself if you begin ruminating or overanalyzing the details of your breakup. Whatever the reasons were, you aren’t going to be with that person anymore. Don’t worry about knowing what the picture is supposed to look like. Just focus on learning to live with the pain and building your future from where you are right now.

Avoid jumping into a rebound relationship

You may be tempted to seek another partner to cover up your loneliness, but this can lead to more problems. You can’t effectively face your emotions when you distract yourself with a new relationship. Also, you may unintentionally hurt the other person because you’re with them for the wrong reasons. Spending time with friends and family is a better way to soothe your loneliness and meet your need for companionship.

Step back into your routine

Stepping back into a regular schedule can make it easier to move through the next few weeks and months. Routines don’t take much thought or energy, so it’s easier on your already-taxed mind. There’s a sense of comfort that comes with the predictability of routines. You can take control of your actions and schedule, giving you a sense of calm security.

Consider seeing a counselor if you feel stuck

If you feel stuck after your breakup, you may find counseling helpful. Sometimes a breakup can be tougher to get through than you expect. No matter what your struggle, sometimes a short period of counseling can be just the guidance you need to move forward. There’s no shame in reaching out to a professional when you feel like it’s too much to handle on your own.

Getting over a breakup

Breakups aren’t easy, even when you see them coming. Coping with change and loss takes emotional energy, so be patient with yourself. With support and time, you can move forward.

New Dimensions Can Help!

If you are in crisis because of mental health or substance abuse issues, New Dimensions can help.  We provide onsite IOP and PHP services in Houston, Katy, and The Woodlands to adolescents and adults with mental health and substance abuse issues.  We also offer online intensive outpatient programs to anyone who resides within the State of Texas, including Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin, San Antonio, College Station, Lubbock, Tyler, El Paso, Laredo, and Corpus Christi.  To learn more about our programs visit us at or call us at 800-685-9796.

18 April, 2021

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